First 60 Days with Avery

1. Sleep is a luxury. 

Try to nap as much as you can. I've noticed most of the frustration between Monica and I stem from sleeping. We decided to sleep in the same room as Avery and discussed about working together when Avery wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Trying to be a super dad. However, you may find yourself pretty helpless when you're half awake while your partner is breastfeeding your child. 

What you could do to help?

i. Keep your wife/partner hydrated by getting them water.
ii. Burp your child after the feeding.
iii. Change your child's diaper.
iv. Try your best to soothe your child back to sleep.
v. Remind your wife/partner that you appreciate her.

I feel groggy each time when Avery wakes up every 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. Trust me, I am not in the best mood. I constantly remind myself that it would be worth it. Keep in mind to communicate with your partner/wife your limitations. I tell Monica that I have difficulty waking up and we started to try a new sleep schedule between us. I would take the 10p-4am shift and she would take the 4am onwards. I will keep you updated if this works out. 

If you are working a 9a-5pm job, I would highly suggest you trying to setup a sleeping schedule or find/ask for additional help. Monica's mother comes over in the morning to help us when I work late on the weekends. 


2. Balancing work and family. 

Always try to discuss about expectations on your roles and allocate some time with your family. Your partner/wife will always have expectations that you will make an effort to spend time with your family. Date nights are important. I'm usually attached with my mobile phone due to work. TRUST ME, try your best to put that away when you are on date night unless its super important.


3. Techniques on soothing your baby. 

I have an article written up in my DADDY101 Section "How to soothe a crying baby?"

4. You will need to make sacrifices. 

You won`t be able to hang out with your boys as often or your friends will stop calling you as they will assume that you are busy with your newborn. Don`t be gloom. Truthfully, you are not missing much as your family will occupy most of your time anyways and your good friends will find a way to come visit you. You will learn that your family is everything.

5. No more risk taking. 

You no longer are able to make any decision without considering the outcomes that may effect your family.

6. Argument between your partner and yourself is unavoidable. 

Their method versus your method OR their belief versus your belief. Prepare yourself for small disagreements. However, I'd suggest you to drop it since men never win these battles. Happy Wife = Happy Life. It's quite often that your partner/wife will assume that you would know its "common sense" when truly we do not know. Don't worry, I feel for you.

7. Providing only bacon for your family isn`t enough.

We are living in the 21st century. Our job isn`t just to provide food & shelter. We need to remember to provide emotional support as well as do our part of nurturing our child. I try my best everyday to tell an appreciation to Monica. (Eg. I would tell her that I appreciate her waking up constantly to feed Avery or whenever she folds our laundry or when she gives me a breather.) I think couples should practice appreciating each other everyday. It`s a healthy exercise and I truly believe it works on building on your relationship stronger..


8. Don't be hard on yourself. 

No dad is perfect. I know I am not. However, you are the glue of the family. Stay strong and keep your head up. You can only succeed if you fail. Learn from your mistakes and improve on it!